Home;  

Ask Al and Pala

Preview: How Can I Delay Ejaculation? Part 1

The Stages of Your Erection



Join


Lots of men, and their lovers too, are interested in how they can last longer in bed. Mastering the ejaculation response is a skill that can take a while, but it is not really that difficult, the results are well worth the effort, and hey, the homework is fun.

If you pay attention, your body will help you in your quest. It gives you signs that tell you, and your partner, how excited, turned on and close to ejaculation you are. What are some of these signals?

Four Stages of Erection

One of the most easily identifiable signs, for both of you, is the stage of your erection. There are four.

Stage 1


Stage one is a flaccid, limp penis, revealing no evidence of any sexual excitement. Nevertheless we refer to this as stage one because you are aware of sensation in your penis, you are thinking about sex, and may want to touch yourself, or be touched by your lover. Intercourse is not possible in stage one.

Stage 2


Stage two is a partially erect penis. Although starting to stand up, it is not straight-up saluting. This degree of erection is enough for intercourse if you help insert the penis into the vagina with your hands in a �soft entry.� To begin intercourse with a soft entry, you can stimulate a stage one limp penis to a stage two erection by using your hand to rub the limp penis against your lover�s vagina, being sure to apply suitable lubrication, such as saliva, vaginal fluids, or water-based or silicone-based lubricant. While stage two is sufficient for penetration, it will not usually provide maximum sexual satisfaction for your partner.

Stage 3


Stage three is an erect penis that is standing straight up and saluting. Stage three can be orgasmic-level arousal for you, and is quite adequate to give your partner pleasurable intercourse. Stage three allows you to be fully engaged in active intercourse, and able to delay ejaculation for prolonged lovemaking.

Stage 4


Stage four is a �boner.� Because the penis is fully engorged with blood, a stage four erection is rock hard. It feels very hot to the touch and changes color becoming a brighter or darker pink, red, purple or deep black depending on your skin color. For most men, stage four means ejaculation is unpredictable, perhaps imminent. You must change or stop what you are doing and allow the penis to subside to a stage three erection, which will allow you to continue lovemaking almost indefinitely.

Erections Come and Erections Go

With regular lovemaking a man usually gets one erection, which proceeds from stage one through to stage four, then ejaculation occurs and the lovemaking is over. During Tantric extended lovemaking, a man does not get and keep one erection for four hours or more. This is not desirable or healthy.

An erection is a cardiovascular event. The penis becomes erect when blood is trapped inside, and stays erect for as long as that blood remains. Blood entering the penis carries with it oxygen and hormones. During active lovemaking, the oxygen is depleted, the hormones are chemically transformed, and waste products build up. Many men involuntarily ejaculate out of sheer penile exhaustion when they try to maintain their erection too long.

It is a good idea to allow the erection to subside to stage two or even disappear entirely every 30-45 minutes. This allows the old blood to be removed along with waste byproducts, and when active lovemaking is resumed and fresh blood flows into the penis the supply of oxygen and hormones is renewed. You are then fresh and virile and able to delay ejaculation quite naturally.

There is a psychological issue of great importance involved with this. If you and your lover make losing an erection into a problem, fear and performance anxiety can severely interfere with the normal spontaneity of healthy lovemaking. This can be easily avoided if you both understand that in prolonged lovemaking, there will be a number of erections that naturally come and go over a period of hours. This is not only desirable, it is a necessity.

A Woman�s Role

Ladies, during intercourse, it is important that you be aware of your partner�s arousal state. You may be rocking wildly against him, close, so close to orgasm yourself, but, when your partner is learning ejaculation mastery skills, if he moves into the hard and hot fourth stage of erection you must stop your movement or he will crest over into ejaculation.

It may be difficult to stop, but it will be well worth the effort in the long run. Understanding and compassion are also called for. If your partner does slip over into ejaculation before you are ready do not berate him or sulk. Performance anxiety is a passion killer. If you are still very eager for an orgasm give yourself pleasure, with love and unselfconsciously. With practice and attention, from both of you, your lover will soon learn how to maintain his erection for significant periods of time.



When you become a Member you can submit your questions to Al and Pala. A new video and article answer will be available every week beginning March 1, 2010



Join